The Incident

I was half-awake, saw a 1 kg bag of “Guji” for a steal, and hit Buy Now. Two days later: pale green pebbles that smell like hay. Right. Green coffee. Unroasted. The beans before the beans.

I did the obvious thing: shook them in a skillet like popcorn while my smoke alarm auditioned for a lead role. The result tasted like campfire cereal. My apartment now has terroir.

So I spent the next hour convincing myself that a sample roaster is cheaper than therapy. By the time the smoke cleared, I had three tabs open, one cart full, and a new identity.

This newsletter is not a rational space.

While the smoke cleared, I clicked on…

Roasted.

Y.